Friday, April 27, 2007

The longest day of the week rant.

It's actually Thursday twice a month that is the longest day of the week. Friday is such a relief after those Thursday evenings at LV. Yesterday really was the longest day ever!

I suppose it didn't help that I was worried about Prima's recovery since she was so sleepy when I left her and she was a bit subdued. She's fine now of course and back to herself, running around with Gigi and getting in Svetlana's way every chance she gets.

I was quite reluctant to go to work (more so than most days). Even with the gray weather we had outside I still didn't want to be in that place whatsoever. It's quite a different space from the other one I worked in, mainly because there are no windows to the outside world so there's a sense of the same time all the time. It's odd. One of my co-workers finds it "relaxing." I can see her point but I don't feel the same way.

Thursday nights are very quiet. I usually get quite a bit of reading done, but last night I was too tired to read for very long. Reading was putting me to sleep. Everyone seemed a little less energetic so it must have been the weather or the stars or something. No one wanted to be there.

Also yesterday was just one of those days where I didn't have the patience for people's stupidity. So I'm going to rant a little with some highlights from yesterday.
1. No, I don't know which knobs and handles you should buy for your kitchen. I've never seen your place, nor do I have any idea what the kitchen looks like and quite frankly I think the ones you've selected to choose from are some of the ugliest hardware we have.
2. You don't have to whisper to me that you're going to Home Despot. I don't care if you go there. I tell people to go there everyday because no one here cares if you'd rather buy it somewhere else. We don't operate that way. And why are you whispering? What are you ashamed of?
3. I don't appreciate Baby drooling all over the counter, the product, my pen, and the interac keypad (remember that next time you're making a debit purchase). Perhaps baby shouldn't be on the counter and would be safer in the stroller that you've left sitting in everyone's way.
4. Don't call me "darlin'"
5. Don't think that I find "wife" jokes and derogatory sexist comments about women shopping funny. She hasn't spent all of your money so your card will go through and so what if she does? Didn't you agree to "for richer and for poorer". By the looks of it you're lucky to have a wife.
6. Please don't ask me if this is a good place to work and if I get a discount. It's none of your business.
7. Don't call me "darlin."
8. Don't let your child run around a place with saws and chisels on display. We try to keep as much as we can under glass, but the store is called LV Tools. There are tools everywhere.
9. Don't throw your credit card at me.
10. Yup, if you try and dislodge a big rock with a wooden handled spade it will probably break that is why it's called a "transplant spade" and not a "boulder spade." We tell you to use the right tool for the right job. I know it's a shocker, but it's true.
11. It's also true that if you try and cut through a tree with your loppers the blade will break, but of course you're right it is a crappy tool and that's why we sell so many.
12. You came all the way here just for me to show you how to put in the battery?
13. No, I won't assemble your lawn mower for you. Have your very able son next to you do it.
14 Don't call me darlin!

I wish I could say these things, but I'd be fired. Hmmm...




3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!!! I am laughing with you, not at you. You have to keep these things for a book!

L, L.

redjane Stephanie Belding said...

You made my day. The tite has to be Don't call me darlin'. I have so many questions about the questions now..hmmm......too funny!

Wandering Coyote said...

Great post, sp! Ah, the retail world, eh? I could have done a post each day like this when I worked at Crapters.