It's back to cat sitting until the 11th of Feb. Chengo's random acts of cruelty towards Ruggles needs to be monitored in the morning. Chengo's mood swings are quite unpredictable so I feed them and sit and write and wait until the commotion settles down a little. Ruggles is flaked out on the carpet right now and the only one really alert is Penny who is looking out the window and down the alley. Rupert is trying to stay alert so that he can watch Ruggles, but it's so hard for him because he seems so sleepy and his eyes keep drooping. Fortunately, for sis and the cats, I have time to sit with them for now.

***

We've had a lot of rain and it's raining still. Whoville has had the strangest winter so far because it hasn't been winter at all. The last time I recall any amount of snow that stayed was well before Christmas on a catering night when we had to walk from the house to the subway and four of us trudged down the middle of the side roads in the waning blizzard. Since then it's been rain, a few snowflakes and mild weather. It's been very Victoria, B.C.-like here in whoville. Of course it's much grayer here because we don't have the year round greenery that Victoria has; everything is concrete gray and muddy browns. It is this reason that I wanted to plant as much evergreens in the garden. Not only are the evergreens looking radiant, but we have tulips sprouting in the backyard! I haven't worn my winter coat in days. I don't know if I should be happy for the mild temperatures or deeply concerned because it's just another sign of our self-induced warming climate.

The sun is coming out and the clouds are starting to break. Looks like a good opportunity to run outside today. My first outdoor run for 2006! No treadmill to spin me along.

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Sunday

I forced myself to get up at seven in the morning to make it to a free meditation session in my favorite yoga studio. The session lasts about a half hour and it is followed by the regular Level 1 ashtanga class. When I arrived around 8, the studio was dark and sleepy. People spoke in whispers to each other and a few candles were lit around the room. About ten of us spread ourselves out through the room and got comfy on our mats, some with blankets. I got very cozy and we stayed silent, calm, in our own spaces until the instructor, Diane, chimed a bell to gently rouse us. Everyone moved in their own time, adjusting and packing up slowly and quietly. Then the door was opened and the regular ashtanga students bustled into the room, filling the room with lululemon and chatty noise. It seemed abrupt, but now we have our yoga flow so we need to get on with it. The class was a true flow class. By the time we neared savasana (relaxation at the end) I was quite exhausted and a bit light headed from the deep breathing. At least now I know what I'm in for when I return next week.

The running and yoga do seem to be at odds sometimes. Yes, the stretching, strengthening, and breathing achieved in yoga has benefited my running by keeping me physically healed and mentally focused, but the intentions of each seem at odds. Running is competitive for me. Training at the gym is all about physicality. There are no quiet areas to really cool down because the radio is incessant. When I run outside it's better, but my competitiveness is at the forefront of my thoughts most of the time. In order to run that extra kilometer I motivate myself by thinking of the next race and that I need to run that extra km because at some point in the race I'll feel too tired to go on. I like racing. I like the race atmosphere and being part of all that has to offer. I'm realistic as well. I know that I'm not racing against anyone else but myself in those runs. I've got my last time run and that's all I want to beat, I'm not racing against other people. It's true I do use people in the runs as markers to where I should be or to maintain a pace, but I'm not racing them. Okay, there is some competition there. It does feel good to pass people, especially those that look more experienced than I do. Guilty.
Yoga is not competitive for me. If I become focused on what others are doing in the class then I lose my sense of where I am in a pose or I lose my form or my breath. This is not good and the times I have been competitive in yoga (trying to stretch as far as the person next to me), I've had a bad class. Lesson learned. The great classes are the ones where I can go inside myself and find my own potential and find where I need to do the work. Perhaps I can apply this when I run my training sessions? If I put aside some of the competitiveness in my training then hopefully I can really tune into how I perform as a runner? That's what I'll do use the mindfulness of yoga and apply it to my running.
Time to lace up the shoes.