I’m a bit overwhelmed with where to begin. Nothing extraordinary has happened to me this past week, but I seem to have found little time for any computer activity whether it is emails or blogs. What overwhelms me is the amount I could write about since so much goes on in a day and in a week. Have I missed that moment that occurred to me while I was living my life and I thought I should write a little blurb about it on the blog?
With a day off and a corner of “free” time for writing I’m facing a blank page and asking “now what?” This has always been a dilemma for me. I’ve never been someone who could just sit down and write and have it all flow so easily. Does such a person exist? Sure the first draft of something short can come somewhat easily, but returning to it to really break it down and work with it, seeing it for what it is can be the most feared thing for me.
I’ve always struggled with facing the blank page or even the written page that needs editing. So far I’ve never been able to overcome that fear which has subsequently left me with much unfinished work. After all without a deadline from someone else what is to keep me from improving on becoming the world’s greatest procrastinator?
I’m not sure if it was Wandering Coyote’s post or not that made me think about my blog, but I did set out to create whoville with specific intentions. I wanted to give myself a space to share my life with my friends and family and also have a place to be creative if I wanted to. If you want to read my blog manifesto you can read my first post. It sounds a little different from what I’ve just said, but I set out not knowing where I was going with this and maybe that’s the point. It’s my on-line journal where I share, vent and hopefully have a good laugh now and then.
If I don’t catch every little moment that I think to blog about it’s not a big deal. If I face the blank page and decide today is not the day to blog then so-be-it. Maybe I need to think of all my writing this way. I have scraps of paper littered all over this apartment with notes to self, lists, images and ideas that I think I should expand on. The problem is when I come to face that blank page I never find these notes very inspiring, that is if I can find them. Then there is always the question of time. How can I best manage my time so that I secure some writing hours? Do I have to give up running, yoga, cooking, playing with the cats? Do I have to become a 5 am riser to write first thing in the morning before I go to work? Is this writer’s block? Maybe. If it is then I need to face the blank page and put some words on it or else because that’s the only way I’m going to get anything written.
2 comments:
As a painter, my practice has changed quite a bit over the years. I used to feel I had to be in the studio everyday, working. These days I work in spurts. When painting goes well, I sometimes feel if I had a hundred canvas' set up, I could complete them all in one go, as if the ideas have been there all along, in front of me, and suddenly I see them with clarity. And when I'm no painting well, it's a good time to practice the squeezebox instead. Facing a blank canvas, I simply start. I worry about nothing and I paint whatever comes into my head, jumping in, getting used to the water. I read something Philip Guston wrote about painting being like every day smashing at a brick wall with a sledge. Each day, you knock a few little pieces off the wall, and then one day, you take one swing and the wall crumbles. All that's left to do is clean up the pieces a little.
Happy holidays!! All the best for you and your family in the new year!!!
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