Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tired Vegan

Vegans can have low moments too right?
I'm tired of being idenitified and associated with what I eat and wear. I'm tired of answering all the questions about what I eat or what I don't eat and "Why?" I'm tired of taking stupid meat jokes in good humor or stupid jokes about how I go home and secretly tuck into a big steak. I'm tired of having to talk about the choice I made to be vegan if people don't want to discuss it in a mature way. I'm tired of being looked over and scrutinized for signs of being unhealthy. If my dark circles are showing then it must be because I don't eat meat and not because I'm working on three of four hours sleep. My distraction is due to not having enough meat. I lift something heavy and someone makes a joking comment: "Oh that big piece of beef you had did the trick." I'm tired of people trying to break down my choice to be vegan with comments like, "well the air is polluted so that's probably more damage." I try and say "I live as healthy life as I can. I realize that there are always environmental concerns." I'm so tired of people commenting that my shoes might be sweatshop even if they are vegan.

What are these people afraid of? Why must fun be poked? Am I really so different? So alien to the rest of the world? Do people not see the veg selections on menus, the restaurants popping up, the fact that there are many many people who have chosen to be vegan, be heathy and live compassionately?

I'm not trying to be perfect. I know I'm far from it. I walk this line of not wanting to reveal my vegan choices to wanting to let everyone know that this is who I am. I'm not striving to live some unrealistic life. I chose to be vegan because I couldn't live with myself any other way. The decision was made after being veg for a long time and really confronting information that I knew was out there. I knew the suffering was going on and I had to confront it one on one. After reading, hearing personal stories and listening to my heart, I made the choice.

Have I consumed sugar without knowing if it's vegan or not? Yes. Have I had wine from a bottle without knowing if it's fining process fits with my vegan lifestyle? Yes. Have I accidentally consumed some animal product without knowing? Maybe. What if I do? Why do people delight in that so much? Why do people delight in the fact that I may have participated in the suffering of animals by feeding my cats cat food? What's wrong with this picture?


red jane said...

Argh, I just finished a post dealing with the same stuff- and I completely hear you and feel your frustartions. I dialed back a bit as well but was validated to haer that you too feel like at time we must apoologize or hide our veganism. I'm done. I'm through from here on in, no more apologies. I'll become a bit of an adamant vegan for a while but I figure if I don't bite back while they cajole, ridicule and attack I will feel that much more censured. So I'll be the oneon the soapbox, handing out vegan cookies in one hand with a megaphone and statistics on the truth about carnivourous society and plane based living in the other. Thought I'd warn ya. :)

sp said...

Thanks for the warning. I'm all for your megaphoned stats going out into the world.
I agree with you I also feel that I have to bite back. I just needed to say that I was tired of it. With so many other things going on in my life right now and people still have to focus on my food choice.
I'm going to miss your support when I move to my new home.