Sunday, June 07, 2009

Sometimes life just gets too busy and I never seem to catch up. Even though I'm sitting here and taking time to blog, meaning that I must have spare time on my hands, I really am overwhelmed with the every day.

First, I want to talk about my Great Aunt Viki. She passed away this past week and I am so sorry for the family. She was such a great woman who was always so kind and welcoming. Whenever I visited with she and my Great Uncle Hanf, I was always reminded of how wonderful it is to be part of this large family we have spread across the country...or actually... across the continent.

One of my favorite traits of Viki's was how she would often say how nice it was to see me. We'd be having dinner or sitting in her living room having drinks and she'd just say how wonderful it was to see me, speaking exactly what I was feeling. Her smile was lovely and warm. Her face showed the signs of someone who smiled and laughed a lot. She loved her family, immediate and extended, and loved nothing more than to be with that family.

I saw her not too long ago when her illness had progressed so that she wasn't always aware of what was going on around her. This was heartbreaking to see, but she still wanted to be with us all and she still greeted me with her broad smile and a warm hug and kiss to the cheek.


So this news about my Great Aunt has been hovering around me since I found out from my sister on Friday and it put into motion the arrangements to fly my mom out from Quebec so she can be here for the funeral.

Friday morning was spent on the phone with my sister and aeroplan working through the process of purchasing a ticket by using my miles to bring the price down as far as possible. It wasn't going well. I was having trouble getting through to aeorplan and was learning to navigate the process when I got completely fed up. I called my sister and told her I needed to go for my run before it got to hot (we also had a heat wave here this past week).

I finally got out the door for my run about an hour and a half later than expected. My mind was focused on just getting it over with (13 k to go). However, running doesn't work that way. The body reminds you of the niggling aches and pains you've collected or are working through, so you can't just get a run over with. It doesn't take long for the mind to wander elsewhere. After only about 3 k into the run, my thoughts turned to Viki and I got the opportunity to go over all of my memories I had of her. I got to grieve a little, which is what I really needed to do because I hadn't given myself a chance to do that yet. This changed the whole feeling of my run that then became about every step and enjoying each moment I had.

By the end of the run it was very hot out, and I was more than happy to be finished with a nice walk up the long hill towards home.

I finalized the ticket for my mom and carried on with my day.

Since then I've been working. We had inventory today-- it's once a year--so I was at work all day long. Tomorrow I'm back at work and Tuesday and Wednesday.

My mom arrives Wednesday evening.

Thursday is the funeral. Thursday is the day we can all come together to remember Viki. I know it's an odd thing to say about a funeral, but I'm looking forward to it so I can have the chance to say good-bye in a more formal way. I want to say good-bye without the everyday of my life getting in the way. Thursday will be about Viki and I can't think of a better way to spend my day.


red jane said...

Thinking of you all today- much love, support and well wishes to you and the family. sb

SME said...

I'm so sorry. It's never easy to lose someone so special.